I’m Shannon, the author behind Ayla Wolf.

I’d like to thank you for reading along . When I first started this project I did not expect to get the response I did. This project has helped me extend my writing skills in ways I never thought possible, and cultivate my inner bad-ass werewolf.

(Trust me, EVERYONE has an inner bad-ass werewolf.)

So thanks again everyone!

I will continue to write (SLOWLY) on Lit, where I have a bunch of totally hot non-human romance type stories (werewolves, and shapeshifters oh my!) (Needless to say, that link is NSFW)

I have also recently de-privatized my personal blog Leaf Probably, which you are welcome to check out. I’d love to see you guys over there! Unfortunately my personal blog isn’t quite as sexy as Full Moon Howling, and there’s the small issue of me not acutally being a werewolf, but if you can get past that, it’s an ok read!

I’d LOVE to hear about your writing projects, and what you’re up to, so drop me a line any-time, at shannon.l.steven[at]gmail.com.

Thanks again, it’s been amazing getting to know you all!

Love,

Shannon

I’m not dead. Neither is Ran. We are both a little sunburnt, and I do have some pretty major mosquito bites. But definitely Not Dead.

The pack of delinquents are all doing surprisingly well, for… well… a pack of delinquents.

I have news though!

I, Ayla, am TOTALLY a married, mated woman.

I need to catch you up on how it all went down though.

So I booked our wedding date in secret in a fit of drunken vengeance… which, Tiny tells me, is not the way it’s usually done. Oops. My bad. Whatever, though, because it got it done.

I finally got around to clueing Ran in, in early October, and all he did was raise his eyebrow, and grin that stupid shit-eating grin. Sometimes I swear he WANTS me to punch him.

Needless to say, when the pack found out about the wedding date, they all went crazy.

Like, certifiable.

The day after they found out, I walked into my room, and found it PACKED, like to the ceiling, full of flowers. NOT congratulatory flowers, but sample wedding arrangements. I proceeded to throw them all off the balcony.

A week later I walk into the kitchen, and some asshole has hung a whole bunch of traditional white poofy wedding dresses in the pantry. I turned around and walked right back out of the house, and spent the night in my treehouse.

Childish? Yes.

Satisfying? Totally.

The pack pretty much spent an entire month trying to sneakily pressure me into a big white wedding. Dinners suddenly became trials for catering companies – like, I’d show up expecting spag bol, to find the entire Pack sitting formally, as chefs and waitresses served us fancy-pants meals.

The first few times it happened I chased Matt (because this totally has his name written all over it) through the house. Eventually I just shut up and ate the meals, because, well, free food.

I did make it clear, SO MANY TIMES that the wedding was just going to be me and Ran in jeans, at the council buildings signing some papers. When I said stuff like that he simply smiled at me in that way that he does that tends to stick my tongue to the roof of my mouth. Now I realise that he never agreed or disagreed with my statements.

Asshole.

Anyway, the day of the wedding, Ran had to run a few errands, so we agreed to meet Tiny, Andre, and Matt at the council buildings at 10.

I rock up, as promised, in my jeans, with my hair in a pony tail.

As I’m getting out of the car, I’m ambushed by a lioness (tibba), a smart-ass tiger (matt), and about 20 pack members. They jam a scratchy sack thing on my head,and tie me up, so that I can’t escape. Or claw them all into bits and kibble.

Then one of them jam me into the back of a car, ignoring my swearing, and yelling.

Somehow they manage to get my clothes off (erm, not for anything fun sexy-times) and jam me into some god-awful strapless painfully TIGHT stupid wedding dress. They rip the sack off my head, and I realize ‘Yay I’m in a limo! Wearing some stupidly expensive dress! All my wedding dreams have come true!’

Or not.

Mostly I just lunge at my pack in an attempt to head-butt them to death. (Being tied up severely limits your ability to maim and kill.)

Matt, my asshole second, puts me in a headlock and Becca attacks me with makeup. After she nearly jabs my eye out the second time, I decide that killing my pack might not be worth being blinded by a mascara wand.

Tiny does something to my hair, while Matt and Andre pin me into place. I tell them that they’re all fired from being seconds, and I’m not friends with them anymore, and that I’m kicking everyone out of the pack.

The assholes ignore me.

When the limo arrives at some swanky gardens I die a little inside, because WOW. When my pack ignores my wishes, they REALLY go all out, and ignore the CRAP out of my wishes.

Matt jumps out of the car, and hoists me over his shoulder. The majority of the Pack go sit down, and Andre heads off to be Ran’s best man. Tiny, Becca, and Tibba all turn out to be my bridesmaids.

Imagine my pleasure.

I scowl at Mattieo’s butt (Being slung over someone’s shoulder doesn’t exactly give you a great view. Also? It’s totally uncomfortable.)

The girls do the walk down the aisle thing, holding dopey little bouquets of flowers, wearing these stupid matching green strapless dresses, and I yell after them telling them how I’m going to kill them all.

Matt shakes me and says to be quiet because “You’ll scare the guests.”

I go quiet, because WHAT GUESTS?!

The music suddenly changes from daft classical violins, to the wedding march. I renew my struggles to get free.

Matt ignores me, and instead strides around the corner, and walks me down the aisle. I must have looked very regal, and dignified, with my ass up in the air, slung over some assholes shoulder, screaming about how I was going to kill EVERYONE.

And dudes?? There were A Lot of people to kill. Like the pack had managed to find some big stupid garden, and FILL it with every shifter I’ve ever met. And all my friends from Uni. And some mates from my old work-place. And my family. And Ran’s family.

And every single person there was staring at me like I was a nutcase.

Every single person except my Pack, that is, who were all looking ridiculously straight-faced and formal.

Assholes.

Matt dumps me down off his shoulder onto the grass and my ‘bridesmaids’ untie me. Tiny throws a bunch of flowers at my head, and I catch it, to avoid breaking my nose (because wow that hurt the first time I did it.)

I launch myself to my feet, and am about to attack Tiny with my flowers, when Andre’s growl behind me reminds me that if I kill her, he’ll probably gut me. I consider doing it anyway.

A soft ‘ahem‘ behind me, reminds me that Ran is here. I turn around slowly, and find him beaming at me in a spiffy tuxedo.

I’ll admit, I didn’t move for a good minute, because: Ran. In a tuxedo. Smiling at me.

The dude doing the officiating droned on somewhere in the background about gathering here today. Like I had a choice.

Ran grins at me in that way that lights up his eyes.

“I’m going to kill you.” I inform him seriously.

The official dude wavers a bit but continues to plow on ahead, saying something about our names being joined together.

“You can’t kill me. There are too many witnesses.” Ran says, smugly.

“I’ll do it anyway. It will be worth it.” I assure him.

“And ruin that pretty dress with all that blood?”

I snarl.

The official coughs quietly, interrupting us. “I do.” Ran says.

“And do you, Ayla Wolf, take Randwulf the King of all the Asshats, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

(Or something. To be honest I don’t really know, or care what the wedding dude was saying.)

I thought very long and hard about saying no, because the shit-heads ruined my dream of a relaxed wedding. Tiny changed my mind very quickly, though, by reminding me in a small whisper, that the wolves are nothing if they’re not tenacious, and they have no problems with doing this every saturday afternoon for the next five years, until they eventually wear me down, and I say yes.

I growled – sounding like a Doberman with a tummy ache, and then said “I do.”

The official dude nearly fainted with relief. So did Ran. He didn’t even wait for permission before he grabbed me and stuck his tongue down my throat.

The rest of the wedding went alright. Basically it was a big garden party after that anyway. There was a small incident with a photographer, but I eventually apologized, because the poor dude WAS just doing his job.

Ran insisted on getting a bunch of the photos framed, and dudes? They’re awful. I’m only smiling on a couple, the majority of them have me scowling at my pack, and at Ran. My favorite, is actually one of my ass. The photographer got a shot of me being carried down the aisle with my ass in the air and ahead of us is Ran and the wedding party, and they’re all looking formal and straight-faced, and Ran’s grinning at my butt like he’s just found the gold at the end of the fucking rainbow.

It was difficult staying mad after I saw that photo.

I am working on vengeance for the rest of the Pack though. It’s not going to be crazy vengeance though, because they sent ran and I off on a month-long honeymoon to a tropical island, and managed to not kill each other while we were gone.

By the time we got back into the country on Sunday, most of my mad had disintegrated into a relaxed slushy puddle of coconut juice, pineapple scented sunscreen, and gushy honeymoon-style love. (Aka: Much hot sex.)

So in conclusion?

They all lived happily ever after. More or less.

Thanks for reading ladies and gents.

Last night was the full moon, so we had the whole pack over (as per usual) and  rampaged through the woods like the wild, ungodly, raving lunatic werewolves we all are.

I was wandering to our clearing with Scooter, who was telling me all about how last night’s full moon was actually the smallest full moon of the year, because the moon is the furthest away from the earth. He was telling me all this astronomical, science-y sounding stuff, and most of it was just flying over my head.

I am NOT a science-y/ astronomical kind of a person.

So I had to ask… “HOW do you know all this stuff?”

And he was all *casual gangly boy-shrug* “I dunno. The internet.”

So I mull this over for a minute, and ask whats really on everyone’s mind: “So, if you’re actually super smart, why did you not guess that skateboarding down a ramp to land in an empty concrete pool would end in broken bones and pain?”

Scooter just kind of shrugged and said “We saw it on YouTube. I figured there was a high chance it would go badly, but we’re shapeshifters. Doing the impossible is kind of our thing.”

Whatever.

I still think they’re all a bit retarded.

Shifting was a bit tense this month, because of the Marina and Colt situation. They’re both at the bottom of the Pack hierarchy at the moment, and they copped a fair bit of growling and aggressive behaviour. And Marina’s Mum went MENTAL at her. They’re both gorgeous part Pacific Islander ladies, and when her Mum gets angry? She get’s LOUD. Capital L. O. U.D.

I was kind of expecting some sort of challenge from Becca, and I think Ran was too, because he pretty much stuck himself to my side, and put his scary Alpha face on for the whole night. I think we both managed to intimidate the crap out of everyone there, because instead of being inundated by 50 people at once (as per usual) and having everyone coming to say hello, they kind of all flashed their throats from a distance, and kept the greetings formal.

(Just on that? Since when did people start calling me Ma’am? I don’t like it. It makes me feel old. I’m not even 30 yet. I’m YEARS – plural – off being 30.)

(Also? I don’t like the new trend of calling us Alpha. I think they caught on to it via Tibba, who does it occasionally when she’s feeling formal, because that’s what the lions all do.)

(If they wanted a formal name for me they could start calling me Ayla, Queen Awesome.)

(I’m totally going to put that in an email update to everyone.)

Anyways, Ran and I head off to shift in private. At one point he’s all naked (drool) and I’m all “Dude we are not built for the cold. Your nipples are harder than diamonds.”

(Yeah alright, so I was copping a feel. He was NAKED. He was practically inviting me to rub myself all over his chest.)

And Ran was all. “Speak for yourself Calamity Jane.”

Then he stopped talking because he was shifting, which annoyed me, because: “Jane? What the hell? My name is Ayla. AYYYYLLLLAAA.”

By that point all he could do was roll his eyes at me and tug at the waistband of my jeans with his teeth. (Ran’s version of ‘stop talking and hurry the hell up with the shifting’.)

Anyway, when I got back this morning I googled Calamity Jane, and I found this:

To be honest?? I’m still not sure I’m talking to him.

Andre, Tristan, and Trent come in holding beer, and a giant bowl of popcorn. They look at Ran napping, and me staring (bored out of my mind) at some weird soccer game. (I was only watching it because the remote was too far away to reach without waking up Ran, and having him grumble at me.)

Andre: You watching this?

Ayla: Yes. I love Soccer.

Andre: Seriously?

Ayla: Go Blue team! Beat the White team! Did you see? They just got some more points.

Andre: I’d be more inclined to believe you, if you actually knew the names of the teams. Or even the countries they come from.

Ayla: Well… Blue team is obviously…

Andre: Yeah. We’re watching the game in here.

Ran cracks an eye open and scowls.

Tristan: Quietly. We’re watching the game in here quietly.

Ran: Right answer Hombre.

1. I’ve been busy

2. Matt’s been reasonably absent – good sex will do that.

3. I seem to make Kristen uncomfortable (imagine that) So generally she avoids me.

Anyway. Matt came to see me on Sunday.

“So. Ayla. I have a question.”

“Yes, your haircut looks ridiculous.” It doesn’t really.

“No it doesn’t it’s cool. Hip. Happening. Anyway. I have a question about Kirsten.” He says.

I drop my newspaper and raise an eyebrow at him.

“Would you consider inviting her to join the Pack? Ever?”

“Maybe one day in the far off future, if you two wanted to mate. I don’t know how Ran feels about it though.” I said honestly.

“I want to mate with her, though… And I was thinking of sooner rather than later.” Matt said, flopping down on the couch beside me.

I frowned. “Whoa. How long have you two been together?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Have you done things outside of the house together?”

“No. Not really.”

“Does she invite you to her house? And are you welcomed by her family?”

“No.”

“Is she comfortable in the Tree House, and with the Pack?”

“No.”

“Have you discussed living together, the future  - past next week – breeding policies, and goals.”

“Erm… Not really.”

“When is the last time she blindly agreed with her brother, even when his opinion clashed with her own?”

“Ah… Last night, but-”

“No.”

Matt frowned. “Fine.”

“I’m so very serious, Matt. No.”

He upgraded his frown to a scowl. “I heard you the first time.”

He stomped out of the room, but not before messing up my hair, which I’m happy to take as a sign he listened, and agreed with my points.

*(Naturally, I am joking. Court is not fun. It’s boring. And it takes an unreasonably long time, just for the judge to say ‘hey not a flight risk, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks’.)

So Ran and I decide that I’m going to take the lead on this one, because he took the lead on the last major pack thing we had.

That was fine with me, because I was about mad enough to just castrate him and leave him to rot in the driveway. (I didn’t. Ran didn’t think that was a ‘productive’ solution.)

We ended up having a big showdown – if by showdown I mean, I yelled and he cowered.

I was all “Dude. I know you’re going through a rough time, but the risky behavior stops now. Humans get to hit rock bottom. We do not. You keep going down this path, and you’re dead. I’ll kill you myself.”

Becca kind of sat up straighter, and looked a little miffed (we had the whole Pack assembled) but managed to hold her tongue.

I circled predatorily around Colt, who was attempting to shrink a couple of feet into the ground.

“I know you’re not an idiot – you have remarkable bursts of intellect on the rare occasion you choose to use your brain.” I included Marina in my glare to make it clear I was speaking to her too.

“Listen up, because this is real simple. Either you start acting smarter, or I start treating you dumber. Both of you.”

Ran leaned himself casually on the door frame to my right, and crossed him arms in silent support.

“Colt? You no longer get to make the decisions. You will not be forgetting your troubles with ANY of your usual vices – that includes, but is not limited to alcohol, women, gambling, illegal drugs, self medication, or violence. You will not be drinking again. You are a social pariah. Aside from respectful friendship, you don’t talk to, touch, fuck, flirt with anyone – be they human, wolf, or something else.

“If I catch any one helping Colt break these rules? You’re out.”

Becca snarled and stood up from the couch “That’s not fair! Colt and I have a-”

I grabbed her by the throat, and shoved her back into her chair. “Sit. Down.”

Ran snarled behind me, doing his own version of my Alpha glare. Also? I FUCKING knew it. She’s back to screwing around with him. Despite the fact he treats her like shit, and has slept with two other women already this week.

For the most part, the rest of the Pack stayed silent, finding many interesting things to inspect on the meeting room table, rather than meet my eyes.

I issued a few more edicts, and yelled some more at the both of them. As for punishment… Well they’re both pretty much fired from the Security Company. In their spare time they’ll be doing the lions share of the work around the house (which is nothing to laugh at) along with a few other not-fun things, and for now Colt’s going to be under 24 hour watch by one of the guys until he’s earned my trust back.

Anyway, I dismiss the Pack and they all file out of the room faster than I’ve ever seen them move. Except Becca. She comes up to me (a few people see her heading my way and are all ‘Becca, don’t do it.’) looks me in the eye (mistake number two) and says “Listen Ayla, I need to talk to you about this, you don’t understand-”

And? For the first time I slipped my skin without meaning to. Fangs sprouted, and claws grew, and my eyesight sharpened a WHOLE heap.

Given that I was all in ‘Rrar, I’m going to kill you’ mode, Becca didn’t back down, which, in my world? Is a challenge. The few wolves still in the room gasped en-mass and were all ‘fuck we’re going to die’. Ran moved closer, but didn’t touch either of us.

“Listen bitch. I am Alpha here. You WILL back the fuck down, or I will beat you down. If you think you can do a better job, go through the appropriate channels.” I snarled, sounding like a cross between my 5th form school dean (WAY scary dude), and a rabid wolf.

Becca kept talking. (Mistake number seven hundred and three.) “Ayla! He’s going through a hard time, but I’m working with him, and he’s getting better. We’re together. Dating. I can keep him stable.”

I pulled my claws back into my hands.

“No you can’t” I said calmly.

Then I punched her so hard she hit the ground and bounced twice.

Becca hauled herself back up and snarled, taking an aggressive step forward. I side stepped her, and grabbed her arm, shaking her like a puppy, then throwing her in the direction of the door. “Get the fuck outside. If we’re going to do this I don’t want your fucking blood all over the meeting room.”

Apparently at this point she realises that challenging her Alpha is a pretty stupid idea. She turns tail, and sprints down to the first floor, before taking off towards the laundry-room exit. I go after her – not quite thinking with my sane, happy, human brain – and Ran chases down the both of us, taking a short cut through the Den and kitchen.

I’m THIS close to getting my fangs into her neck in the hallway outside the washroom, but Ran manages to get between us and bodycheck me. Instead of sinking my teeth into Becca, I bite deep into the meaty muscle of his shoulder and growl like a Chihuahua on steroids.

The taste of blood filters through my awareness slowly, and I abruptly switch back to ‘human in charge’ mode.

So I’m standing here with my teeth in my mate thinking ‘opps. I’m in trouble. He’s going to kill me. He’s going to spank me, then kill me. He’s going to de-mate (is that a word?) with me, beat the living crap out of me, then kill me.’

Also? I’m pretty sure the engagement is off, and so probably, me emailing the council and being all ‘marry me, bitches’ was a little premature, and a total waste of time.

Ran doesn’t let go of my upper arms where he’s gripping me hard enough to bruise. He also doesn’t move away, because I haven’t actually disengaged my teeth yet.

“Ow.” He says, sounding remarkably calm.

Then he presses forward into me, grunts, and leans down and bites the living crap out of my scarred shoulder.

I pretty much let go of his shoulder the second his teeth slice through my scar tissue, because = OUCH. Also? Mildly exciting, but mostly: OUCH.

I snarl and sprout claws, slashing at his chest, and trying to get him to let go. He does, and lifts me up, pretty much wrestling me into the washroom.

When we get there he kicks the door shut behind us, slams me up against a washing machine, and shoves his hands down my pants. I’m wet. Very, very, wet.

I make a noise that sounds a lot like a garbled howl, and thrust against his fingers, which are toying at my clit.

At some point I open my eyes and see blood. LOTS of blood. Wolf bites will bleed, I guess. Instead of stopping the awesome below-the-pants action to worry about something trivial like first aid, I lick up the blood, and clean the puncture marks on Ran’s shoulder… With my tongue…

He grunts and groans, which could be ‘ow painful’ noises, but I’m guessing from the occasional hum I hear, and the way he’s pushing his rock-hard cock into my hand like a frantic schoolboy, it’s not painful so much as erotic.

(Although? Now? With the licking of the blood? I’m kind of finding the thought gross. I think it’s one of those ‘only hot in the moment’ things.)

I unbutton Ran’s jeans, fumbling around one-handed, and cursing the day they decided to make jeans Ayla-proof. Ran doesn’t bother so much with unbuttoning mine. He just rips.

(BTW? Actually? Having denim ripped off you isn’t hot. It’s mostly painful, and results in you getting jolted around a lot. AND it destroys your second favorite pair of pants.)

Clawed fingers pull my underpants aside (or what was left of them, at least) and then Ran shoves his cock into me, pushing me back against the washing machine, and lunging until he was fully seated in me, pelvis to pelvis.

Then he stops.

I start clawing at his chest again because: Seriously? Dude? We’re having the hottest sex of my life, and you’re going to stop right when we get to the good bit??!!

Ran ignores the moaning, whimpering and bitching coming from the general area around the end of his cock, and starts lapping at my shoulder… I realise he’s doing the same clean-up for me that I did for him, and the thought makes me surprisingly hot. (Considering how jumpy I’ve always been about teeth, and biting and pain around my shoulder scars – they’re sometimes kinda sensitive.)

Finally Ran gives up on being gentle, and pulls out, almost all the way, before shoving himself back into me. For the most part, I lean back against the washing machine, and make happy orgasm sounds.

(In case you’re wondering? Happy orgasm sounds surprisingly similar to rabid wolves fighting each other to the death. I know, because when we emerged from the washroom, Pho, and Sam were standing in the kitchen, staring at us like they were expecting to see a couple of mauled headless corpses instead of their Alpha’s.)

Afterwards we leaned against the washing machine, panting at each other. Ran adjusted his hold on my ass, and pulled himself out of me. We both grunted, and rested our foreheads together.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of my bite mark on his shoulder.

“Fucking Fuck. What in the hell am I going to say to your mother when she sees this? – And she WILL see it, so don’t try telling me that she won’t.” I said grumpily.

I could almost hear Ran’s smug grin – I didn’t even need to see his face properly. “Just say the same thing you do every time you see her.”

“Do you really think jokes about how I’ve made her son my dirty sex slave, and had him fixed, are going to be appropriate under the circumstances?”

Ran shrugged “Why not? Besides, I bit you too.”

“Yeah, but I already have a shoulder full of disgusting scar tissue, and various bites, from various assholes, your won’t really stand out.” I grumped.

Ran nudged my chin over to my shoulder. “Actually…”

I looked down. He’d managed to bite exactly over top of one of the deepest, most noticeable bite marks from when I was turned. It was almost like he’d erased it, and put his bite down over top… Surprisingly, I liked the effect. It’s nice to be able to look at one of my most hated reminders, and see something with good memories attached to it for once.

It’s almost a relief. I just felt this huge sort of… release… from the memories.

“Wow.” I breathed.

“You like?” He asked.

I looked up to meet his eyes and nodded silently. He was nice enough to pretend he didn’t see me crying a little bit.

(Yeah. I know. SUCH a girl.)

*

Later, after we’d gone upstairs, and applied band aids , and replaced clothing (I wore someone’s clean sheet upstairs, because it really doesn’t matter how many times Ran laughs at me for ‘the nudity thing’ I’m still not walking through the house in my torn underpants) I went back downstairs to the kitchen.

There were one or two people floating quietly around the first floor, but the second they saw me, they took to the hills.

I made a batch of cookies, for Ran and I to share, and sat up on the bench waiting for them to cook. About halfway through Becca slunk in through the sliding door.

I ignored her, and she gave off every submissive signal she knew. “Alpha? I’m sorry for… Ah… You know.”

I sent her a bit of a steely glare, and pretended like I wasn’t sitting around in slippers, eating from the condensed milk can.

“Becca? I’m going to explain something to you – not because I have to explain myself to you, or anyone here except Ran – but because I think you need to understand something.

“Colt is very bad news. He is in a lot of trouble. He drove drunk. He hit a stop sign – it could have just as easily been a human. If he’s incarcerated, we have to figure out what the hell to do with him, any action we take could result in exposure. Add to that? He could have exposed us all – he was so drunk he was unable to control himself. Gemma pulled him back from the edge of shifting twice last night.

“He dumped Marina into his mess as well. She has a strike against her name, for something he did. He could have easily lost control of that fucking car, and killed her.

“And you and he ‘dating’? I call bullshit. He’s slept with at least two other women this week. That’s not dating. That’s straight-up allowing yourself to be used for casual sex. That’s fine if you WANT casual sex, but you don’t. You’ve got your heart set on saving him, and having him wake up to realise you’re the prefect girl for him.

“Wake the fuck up, you’re just another woman in a very long line.”

I stopped, to check the cookies, and because there’s being brutally honest, and being brutally honest.

Becca kind of hovered before saying “I know you’re right… But I just want so badly for him to be it. He seemed so… Exciting.”

She sniffed, and I hauled my cookie trays out. Friends are probably required to be all ‘OMG hug!’ when they make someone cry, but at the moment I’m not her friend, I’m her pissed off Alpha, who she challenged three hours ago. I ignored the waterworks.

“Becca if you want to be Alpha one day, you’re going to have to grow the hell up, and get a clue about your own self-worth. How in the hell could you lead a Pack thinking that all you were worth was the occasional fuck from some self-absorbed jerk? You don’t want Colt. You’re settling for him, because he has a nice body and he made the effort to get into your pants.

“You want a forever guy, then you start looking for the one that makes an effort to get into your mind.” I said, grabbing a plate of cookies, and a couple of glasses of milk.

I felt bad about just leaving her there, but I could see Tristan out in the hallway waiting for us to be done with the private moment. I swept past Becca, leaving her alone in the kitchen. Out in the hall I raised an eyebrow at Tristan in question, to make sure he’d look after her, and he nodded, slipping past me.

Thank god for Tristan. I can’t recall him ever giving me grief. And he’s always around chatting with the younger guys when he’s not working. He also wants to be an Alpha one day, and to be honest? I see it more in him than in Becca. He’s even started travelling around the country visiting other packs every other weekend or so, just to get a clearer idea on how other Packs operate, and what works, and what doesn’t.

In short? He’s a good dude.

Yay for actually having a couple of those in the Pack.

Why the hell is is whenever I start to relax into this whole leadership business, something shitty happens that makes me just think ‘Fuck it. I’ll just resign and move to fucking Hawaii.’

So yeah. Got home tonight from Taekwon Do (I PASSED MY GRADING WITH AN ‘A’! OMG!) and hey! Guess What! my lift drops me at the corner at the same time as two fairly frantic Shifter cops…. The ones I met here.

Ben and Gemma were all “We have a situation.”

I kind of look down at my sweaty dobok, and back up at the two cops. “Is this a ‘shower beforehand’ situation, or a ‘smell like a pig for the next six hours’ situation?”

Gemma studies the hood of the police car carefully, and Ben avoids eye contact… I swear. (Like the well-bread lady I am.)

“Alright. Who is it?” I ask. (I desperately didn’t want to know.)

“Marina, and Colt. Mostly Colt, but we have her for resisting arrest, and obstruction.”

“And him?” I ask as I throw myself into the back of the cruiser.

“DUI, obstruction, resisting arrest, Failure to stop after an accident, careless driving… and maybe one or two others. It’s serious, but there’s a chance we can avoid having him serve time. WE’ve got a bit of leeway till full moon, anyway. We needed to come get you, though, because he’s drunk, and stressed, and feeling wolfy. Marina’s doing better.”

Super. Fabulous. Wonderful. We have leeway before the full moon. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? What if he has to serve time? Then what? We smuggle him out of the country to China? Sure, people gripe about the penal system here, but I’m pretty sure a corrections officer is going to notice when his prisoner sprouts a muzzle.

I manage to refrain from having a full on Alpha tantrum in the back seat of the police car.

Gemma chats with someone in numbers and words like ‘Henry Bravo’ While Ben explains they couldn’t get through to his mobile, so they figured they’d stop by directly. I call Ran.

He answers the phone all “What’s wrong?”

“Why does something have to be wrong? I could just be calling to say hi.”

“We live in the same house. You can say ‘hi’ once your lift drops you off – usually that happens two minutes from now.”

“Fine, I need you to come to central city police station. And bring a lawyer. Do we have any lawyers?” I ask, not able to recall if the Pack have managed to infiltrate that particular profession yet.

Ran is silent for a very long time before he explodes with: “What in the HELL did you do?!”

“Why do you always do that? Assume it’s me that’s caused the issue? I didn’t do anything. It was Colt and Marina. He smashed one of the company cars into something, and then drove off. They’ve got him for DUI, and they’ve got Marina for resisting arrest. Among other things.” I said grumpily.

Ran swears (More than I did.) and gets his hot ass into action, managing to round up a hundred year old Pack criminal lawyer dude that I SWEAR I have never met before. (He totally knew my name though, and was all ‘how are you?’ which always freaks me out, because ‘do I know you? Should I know you? Have I blocked meeting out out for some reason?’)

Anyway I get to the station, and jump through hoops (Without Ben and Gemma’s help, because we like to keep them as far away from Pack business as possible so that no one starts asking about their involvement with us.) Ran arrives with lawyer guy, and we finally get to see Marina and Colt.

Colt is pissed as a fucking newt, and no help at all. We settle for calming him down as much as possible. (He was getting a bit fangy and clawy which is always a bad sign in a stressed Shifter in public.)

Marina was more or less sober, and completely freaked out. She keeps telling us she had no idea he was drunk. We believe her, because Colt is very good at playing sober he’s fine until he has ONE drink too many, and then all of a sudden he goes from having a civilized (but flirty) conversation about baseball, to falling of the deck, throwing up in the garden, and generally raising drunken hell.

(As we experienced over Christmas.)

So Marina smells rum on him, but figures he’s fine. He gets behind the wheel, and starts swigging from a McD’s Coke. She abruptly realises that the coke is probably spiked when he drives into a stop  sign, freaks, and speeds away – with a frigging cop on his tail.

Colt convinces Marina to swap seats with him because he’s drunk, and she’s not, so they’ll go easier on her, but the cops weren’t born yesterday so they figure it out. Then the two douche-bags decide to run for it because Shifters DON’T go to prison, and running from the police is ALWAYS a good idea.

(Hint: It’s NEVER a good idea.)

- And on that whole ‘Shifters don’t go to prison’ thing? That’s because if it’s bad enough to be imprisoned for, the idiot who is arrested is either hustled out of the country with a new identity, or Pack justice comes into play. Prison is not a fur/feather/scale friendly environment.

So?

We got the both of them calm. Gemma is hanging around the cells tonight, just in case, and they’ll be up for Bail and stuff tomorrow afternoon. Joy.

And after we get them home? I have NO idea. And as for the prison thing?? I’m kinda hoping Colt can avoid it. We wouldn’t go all Pack justice on his ass for this, but he wouldn’t ever be accepted into another Pack. He’d be absolutely fucking black listed. We take exposure very seriously. It’s a two-strikes and you’re out (of life) kind of a deal.

Now… If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to my happy place for a while. (Ran is at the gym, probably punching things, and being sweaty, because we got out of the police station, and I took one look at the veins sticking out of his neck, and was all ‘dude. Go lift something heavy at the gym, I’ll see in in an hour when you’re less bitey and growly’.)

I thought they’d be better than the blank spaces that used to be there, anyway!

We have a few humans at the house today, so we’re all on our best behavior. No one’s wandering around all furry, no one’s chewing anything they shouldn’t be, and there’s no growling, or howling, or barking/yipping/yelping.

That being said some people are a LITTLE uptight about it. Like Kirsten? Matt’s girlfriend? Shes not used to having humans in her living space (even though she doesn’t live here.) She’s totally been on edge – like, literally. She’s perched on the edge of the couch wih her hands folded primly in her lap, like a nun or something.

I’m watching Matt like a hawk, because he’s sprawled beside her with that grin he gets when he’s thinking about fucking with people. You know the one… It’s mischievous…

We’re also celebrating Colt’s birthday – which was last month – and Emma and Connor’s birthday’s because they’re next week. (At the rate we have birthdays, it’s silly not to condense them all. Otherwise we’d be eating cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner all year round.)

(Not that a years supply of cake is a bad thing… It’s just that my ass can’t handle that much cake.)

Anyway, I’m not out there celebrating with everyone, because I had to put myself in time out… (I’ll explain that in a minute.)

Rex and Ally Update!

Well, I was chilling with a bunch of people, and watching the party action going on earlier this evening. Rex comes up and chills with us for a bit, and jokes around with Becca about spiking the spiked punch (it’s kind of an inside joke… We once had a party where almost everyone dumped alcohol in the punch bowl. It got messy.)

Anyway, I look up, and Ally’s arriving, BUT she doesn’t look like ‘I am a wallflower’ Alexandra. She’s wearing this AWESOME swooshy (What, that’s a word!) dark purple dress, and she had her hair down for once, and she looks AMAZING.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a complete makeover or anything – Ally never wears makeup, and she didn’t start trowling it on tonight or anything, she just looks like herself, but more…. Relaxed. (Swooshy, even!)

Becca and I immediately jump up and tell her how amazing she looks, and she’s smiling, and blushing. Matt comes in behind her and gives a wolf whistle (er… tiger whistle??) and is all “Ally Cat! Looking HOT.” and he’s joking round with her. I glance over at Rex, who – for a totally chilled out dude – looks pretty tense.

Then Colt comes by and gives Ally a glass of something pink and alcoholic, and starts up with some mild flirting.

Becca frowns at him and is all “Dude. What the hell happened to not sleeping with every beautiful woman in the Pack?”

Colt is all “What? I’m just talking with Ally – there’s nothing wrong with that! We haven’t chatted for ages, have we Ally.”

(From the skeptical look on Ally’s face, I’m betting Colt had never said more than two words to her before tonight.)

Ally for the most part just looks uncomfortable. She tries to gracefully excuse herself, and colt is all “Hey, don’t go! You haven’t told me what you think of my new cocktail!”

Ally doesn’t get a chance though, because all of a sudden Rex is looming behind her.

He kisses the side of her neck, and wraps one of his arms around her waist, and is all “Alexandra, you look beautiful.”

Ally finally relaxes, and smiles like she means it, and they disapear to see if they can find a bottle of red somewhere (it turns out both of them are red wine drinkers.)

*

Update on the resident man-whore

After Ally leaves with Rex, Colt looks a little put out, and Becca generally looks disgusted at him. She’s all “So? What in the hell was that then? ‘Oh Ally, taste my totally alcoholic cocktail while I flirt and make eyes at your boobs’ You’re an idiot! What the hell have we been talking about for the past month an a half, huh? ”

Colt shrugs and says “What?! I wasn’t going to sleep with her anyway. I was just talking. Anyway, I didn’t know she was with Rex.”

To which Becca scowls and walks off.

Now. When I first met Becca she was having a minor break down over Colt being a total womanizing asshole, and leading her on. She got over it, and Colt went on to be a bigger, and better man-whore, before totally getting his heart stomped on by Sam – our resident cougar.

Colt, being a bit of an emotional retard, dealt with the heart stomping by drinking himself into a wee depressed puddle. Becca helped him get back on his feet (because she’s a total saint!) and he swears off being a boozy immature man-whore.

I’m beginning to think, though, that Becca helping Colt out wasn’t quite as altruistic as it first looked – I wonder if she’s still crushing on him, and this is her way of getting him to finally notice her?

I hope not!

*

Have I told you how much I like Tibba?

No? I like her a lot.

She finally made an appearance (Late at her own party, in the house she lives in – that takes talent) dressed in the same comfortable jeans she usually wears, and a plain black top, and her hair in the same old ponytail she usually wears it in. It’s not fancy or anything, but because she’s a cat she kind of inherently manages to look sleek and put together – at the same time as being totally comfortable.

She storms into the pantry, where I’m rummaging around for some serviettes. I kind of look up, because ‘yay I’m cornered in a pantry with a pissed off badass lioness’.

“Hey Tibba. What’s up?” I ask, mapping my escape route.

She looks up like she’s only just noticed me and is all “Opps. Sorry. I thought the pantry was free.”

I smile and say “Nope. But I don’t mind sharing.”

She’s all “Good. Tell me… Is there alcohol in here?”

I’m all “Pshh What kind of a question is that? Of COURSE there’s alcohol in here. What kind do you want?” And I open the cupboard with our stash of spirits and liquors.

Tibbas eyes light up, and we both take a swig straight from one of the cheap bottles of tequila. We even make it classy, by following it with a swig of lemon extract. (BTW? Lemon extract meant for baking tastes NOTHING like lemon. It’s not a good substitute for lemon wedges.)

Once we were both done shuddering over the awfulness of the lemon she says “Ayla? My Mother just arrived. WITH Trent’s mother. And you know what she said to me?”

I shake my head and take another swig of tequila.

“She walked in the front door, took one look at me and said ‘Tabitha, why don’t you ever dress like a girl? No man is ever going to love those tomboy hips if you don’t wear a pretty skirt every now and then.’” Tibba raised her eyebrow at me, and I nodded in understanding. Mothers are a hard thing to love, sometimes.

“And then Trent’s mother stares at my ass and is all ‘You’re not built for child rearing, but those hips will widen right out after you have the first baby.’ Like I’m some fucking magicians assistant about to pull a fucking rabbit out of my ass.” Tibba said, grabbing the bottle again.

“I’m not having fucking babies right now.” She said clearing up any misconceptions I may have had.

(Also = YAY me too! I agree! Finally someone who isn’t all pro-baby!)

“Why did it take you so long to leave the Pride again?” I asked – I had always thought it was her family she didn’t want to leave.

“Don’t fucking know. Anyway, what the hell gave them the idea I was turning into some fucking breeding machine?” She asked, taking yet another gulp of tequila.

We talk a little longer and Tibba explains that Aaron’s (He’s the lion Pride’s Alpha) original Second was leaving, and she had stuck around, hoping to be chosen as the replacement second. Aaron chose another guy instead – much to Tibba’s disgust – and so she finally decided that she was never going to get any real power in the Pride, so it was time to cut her losses and move to our Pack so that she could be with Trent.

I think if Matt ever left I’d totally have Tibba as my second. She’s loyal, she has no wish to be Alpha, she’s scary as all hell when she’s pissed off, and she hates Ran’s mother (AKA the She-Devil) with a vengeance.

I finally pried the bottle out of her hands, deciding that perhaps we shouldn’t start the night with one of my Pack members killing her mother, and beginning a Pack-Pride war.

“How about we go find Trent.” I said, opening the pantry door.

Thankfully Trent had either followed Tibba to the kitchen, or had heard she was in here from someone, because he was already waiting outside the pantry door for us to finish talking.

“All yours.” I said, handing over care of Tibba to her grateful mate.

Trent smiled and thanked me. (I remembered to tell Tibba ‘NO FIGHTING’ before I left, too, and she was all “Understood, Alpha” even while she scowled and pouted.)

*

Time Out

So, like I said earlier, I had to give myself time out because Ran was totally riding in my last nerve!

We had just finished listening to Tibba and Trent’s families do the whole speech thing about how pleased they were to see their kids settled (Tibba and Trent both did a shot every time the mothers mentioned grandchildren) and Ran and I were watching the fun.

I was kind of smooshed up against his side, resting my head on his chest, as we both watched Scooter, Spam, and T.J concoct something involving a blender, and about 50 different kinds of alcohol.

“So. When are we getting married then?” Ran asks.

“I dunno. Some time.” I said evasively.

“Shouldn’t we set a date?” He says.

I frown. “It’s not a big deal is it? We go to the council buildings, sign some stuff, huzzah, we’re married.”

“The fact that you’re avoiding it kind of says that it’s a big deal.” Ran says, sounding a little annoyed.

I un-smoosh myself from his chest. “I’m not avoiding it. You’re just being pushy about it.”

“I am not, I just know you’ll never get around to doing it if I don’t keep asking about it.” Ran said sounding oh-so-rational. (I HATE that.)

“I would too!” I muttered. (I probably would. Maybe)

“Right. And now you’re picking a fight to avoid talking about it. Mature.” He says with a superior raise of an eyebrow.

(Stupid knowitall King dork-face)

“I’m not the one picking a fight!” I say prodding his chest with a pointy finger.

He smirks at me. “I’m not the one yelling.”

“I’m not yelling!” I yelled.

Captain asshole raises his eyebrow again and I have to clench my fists to stop myself smacking the knowitall smirk off his face.

“I was just asking, because I found a great spot for wedding photos the other day.” He says KNOWING that I don’t want to have to stand around taking photos – I’m not even planning on getting dressed up. Like is said go to council building, sign some stuff. That’s jeans and a ratty sweatshirt appropriate.

I spin on my heel and walk away, knowing that kicking him in the balls is a bad idea.

(Hence some laptop-alone time in my office.)

I can’t figure out why he was trying to wind me up, either… I guess because he wants me to set a date… Hm. Anyway. I emailed the council out of spite ten minutes ago, and made the appointment to do it in late October. That’ll show Ran for being suck an ass about it.

‘See I did it! Ha! Proved you wrong asshole, I win again – AND THERE WILL BE NO PHOTOS.’

Now I am going to go tease Tiny with the fact that breast-feeding, responsible women who don’t swear or reference hookers can’t drink beer. (Andre loves me. Really, he does!)

Ok… So we all know how Rex fucked up, right? Like, first he was all ‘I’m going to Canada to live forever and ever’

Then one of our quiet wolves (Yeah, she’s a bit of an anomaly, given the craziness of the house) Alexandra is all *crush!* on Rex. Rex finds out, and is all ‘so? what? I don’t care!’ EXCEPT he totally did care.

Then he was all ‘oh, Ally I’m going to kiss you and sleep with you, and look deeply, and romantically into your eyes, while I tell you that basically I think you’re a slut, and I’m fucked up, and I’m still leaving.’

Meanwhile Ally? She’s all ‘Get the fuck away from me you shit head.’

Cue applause for Ally.

*Note: This might not be exactly how it went down. But it’s close enough.

I finally had a chance to talk to Ally today. She was actually doing pretty well, because Rex promptly pulled his head out of his ass, and apologized.

Rex’s Backstory:

After Rex and I talked the other day, I asked around, and it turns out that he had a reason for becoming a bit of a recluse. So I go back to Rex, and sit down with him for the next four and a half hours, and he just TALKS. He tells me everything.

Back in the good old days where he, Trent, Tiny, Andre, Ran, and Simmone, were all young and stupid, Rex fell for a human girl that he ran into one night at the bar he worked at.

He had this whole secret love affair thing going on, with a human, which I can personally attest to being really fucking HARD. There are lots of things us normality-challenged shifters do that come across as WEIRD to humans.

Especially when we’re all emotionally and hormonally stirred up (like when we’re fighting, or fucking, or scared ect.)

Anyway, this girl? The reason he was so attracted to her was that she was a little bit damaged and fragile, and Rex has a bit of a white knight complex. He loves women – being around them, talking to them, and fixing things for them.

It was all made a little more difficult by the fact that Rex’s parents were kind of traditionalists, so it was made pretty clear that Rex would be mating with a Wolf woman, and having his 2.5 pups and getting a real job in one of the Pack businesses – just like all the other responsible wolves in the Pack.

The Pack found out about the girl, and after a bit of quiet investigation, the Alphas at the time put their foot down and told him to break it off. NOT because she was human (because generally we’re pro human), but because she was obviously not going to be able to handle finding out that Rex was a wolf, and there was absolutely no question of turning her.

(She just didn’t have the emotional strength to be able to take a major change like that.)

Rex is pissed off, and it strains his relationship with his parents even more, and he begins to resent the whole ‘wolf’ thing a bit. He strings everything along a bit longer than he should have, but he eventually listens to his Alpha, and breaks it off with the girl.

She takes it badly, and does some stupid destructive shit to the Pack (not QUITE realising what she’s fucking around with.) She takes her pain out on some people who didn’t deserve it, and then, when the Alpha’s step in to stop her, she tries to hurt herself.

Rex realizes that opps his Alphas were actually probably right about this chick. She ends up having a brief stay in hospital, and in counseling. She gets back on her feet, and moves away to be with her family.

THEN the butthead starts to blame himself for everything that went wrong with her. It doesn’t matter that she’s in a better place now – All Rex can think about is the fact that him getting involved with this woman caused his Pack harm, and caused this woman harm.

Why Canada?

So with all that’s happened Rex decides that he’s bad news for the Pack and that his family hates him anyway, so he’ll just do his time and then get the hell out of here and go to Canada.

Why Canada? Apparently when this human girl was strung out, she’d talk about going there to escape from everything. She always said that when she was a kid, and happy, her family had gone on ths trip to Canada. They’d gone hiking, and at one point the girl gets lost.

Instead of calling for help, though, she wanders off path for a little bit until she’s knee deep in snow. Then she lies back in the snow and stares up at the sky. She said it was the most peaceful she’d ever felt – all alone in some wintery national park, surrounded by cold and snow. (Yeah. I’m thinking she was DEFINITELY a little crazy.)

Anyway Rex, after hearing this literally hundreds of times when he’s around her, begins to think ‘actually that doesn’t sound too bad. No more family pushing at me to do something I hate, no more Pack to care about, I wouldn’t have to deal with this broken woman, or the guilt for letting her get to this point, and the guilt for putting the Pack in danger again.

So he decides Canada is where he wants to be.

The Ally thing:

So one night he’s wandering through the house at 3am, or some ridiculous hour, in his usual funk, and he runs into Ally. They go back to her room, and he decides ‘fuck it, I want to not feel guilty about this for just a little while.’

So he proceeds to forget about the fact that he is leaving, and that he doesn’t want to hurt Ally the way he hurt the human girl, and the fact that he’s still feeling guilty about his part in the mess back when he was a kid.

He and Ally kiss, then somehow end up having emotionally charged sex. (Ally reports that he did indeed rock her world – he was super gentle and slow with her.)

Then when they’re done, and lying together in her room, Rex starts to think ‘shit I’ve fucked up again. I’m still leaving.’

So he acts like a callous asshole and is all ‘Hey, so I’m really only looking for casual sex, you’re cool with that, right?’

And Ally is all ‘WTF? That is so not the vibe I got when you were staring deeply into my eyes, stroking my face, and whispering soft things to me.’

So Rex is all ‘Yeah well I didn’t realize you were going to be clingy about it. It’s just sex.’

And Ally throws him out, and wonders what the hell happened! One minute the super sensitive, hot guy she’s been crushing on for the past three years is holding her like he loves her, and the next he’s treating her like a slut?!

Screw getting involved in that. Ally might be quiet, and a bit inexperienced with guys, but she sure as hell knows what she wants in a man, and right now? Rex so isn’t it.

(You know? For a quiet wee wallflower? When she’s angry she’s not in the least bit quiet about how she really feels. It took less than half a bowl of ice-cream before she was telling Becca and I what an asshole Rex was.)

Rex pulls his head out of his ass:

After Rex and I talk (and talk and talk) he goes back to Ally. He spends a VERY long time apologizing to her bedroom door, before she comes down the hallway from the bathroom where she’s been taking a soothing bath. Ally kind of stops, and quietly watches Rex as he earnestly apologizes to her door, and tells it all about how he’s not going to Canada.

Eventually Ally decides to be nice and let him know she’s standing right behind him (What did I say? Wallflowers are AWESOME at eavesdropping, because they’re quiet, and good at not being seen, right?!)

Rex spins around and is all ‘Well I feel stupid.’ Then he starts to go over his apology again, and Ally decides she’s heard enough.

She walks past him, and goes into her room. Just when Rex thinks she’s going to slam the door in his sorry face, she looks back and is all ‘Well? Are you coming in?’

…

So in short? Rex is in the dogbox (still) but he and Ally are ‘dating‘ (which, actually, judging by the BLUSH Ally had going on when she said that, I’m thinking ‘dating’ means LOTS of sex.)

Also? Rex is not moving to Canada… Although he might visit it for a bit after he finishes his tech-course in December, using some of the rent-money Matt and I made him take back. Only this time he’ll be taking Ally with him.