About Ayla Wolf
I’m Ayla Wolf*, and I’m a Werewolf.
I turn fluffy almost every time the full moon makes an appearance, which, btw? Seriously pisses me off.
The wolf thing in general pisses me off some days, but then, some days it doesn’t suck too much. Like the days where it’s saving my life. Those days are pretty good.
I guess it could have been worse right? I could have been bitten by a dog shapeshifter instead of a wolf. I could have to face the indignity of turning into an Alsatian, or (god forbid) a Pomeranian every month.
I could have a burning need to bury my own gym sneakers in the backyard, chase smelly tennis balls, and lick my own crotch for pure entertainment value.
Instead I just get a few scary dreams about eating small helpless livestock, and take serious enjoyment from howling at the moon. And… Well alright. there is a little crotch licking, but it’s all for grooming purposes, none of that weird dog shit, where they’re licking away down there for hours.
Anyway. Moving on.
FAQ #1: So… How did that whole wolf/shapeshifter thing come about, anyway?
I was ‘turned’ (Read: attacked and bitten) during The Awful Event back when I was 17. The Asshole who did it was totally deranged.
Anyway, after my somewhat-traumatic change of species I spent the next few years of my life shifting from city to city, and hiding under my bed every full moon. There was no friendly wolf pack knocking at my door, to help me through all the weirdness inherent in your first years as a wolf.
I did a pretty good job of getting through it myself though. In fact it wasn’t until a recent chance encounter with a hyena that I even realised there were a ton of others like me. Now I’m trying out the Pack thing for the first time. It’s kind of cool, in a loud, crowded kind of way.
FAQ #2: So, Tell me more about being a werewolf, is it ultra cool?
No.
I don’t get super speed, or super strength or any of that other cool stuff. Basically I’m just me: short, curvy, growly, bad-tempered me.
I’m sure as shit not fast, or super fit, and generally?: I’m kind of clumsy. I’m the co-ordination challenged one trailing along behind all the humans at my weekly Taekwon Do class.
FAQ #3: How did your friends and family react when they found out?
Actually, I didn’t tell my friends/family.
First things first my family and I don’t really get along due to some pretty nasty things I did and said back when I was a 17 and trying to deal with the wolf thing. Unless one of them gives birth/ marries/ dies we prefer to stay clear of each other.
My friends are nice, but it’s only very recently that I’ve managed to stay in one spot longer than six months. I’m not keen on the idea of enlightening humans about the wolf thing. It seems like a deeply bad idea.
FAQ #4: You’re kind of grumpy. Are the other wolves nicer than you?
No.
Ok, Yes. Most of them are actually, like Tiny. She’s cool when she’s not bugging me. Before she got all pregnant we used to drink a lot of tequila together in margarita form. She’s my go-to person for bad-ass advice. Her real name is Natasha, but that’s kind of a mouthful for someone so… Well, Tiny.
Her boyfriend Andre’s kind of cool too. He’s big and tough, and built like a brick shithouse. The look hilarious together. He doesn’t say a lot, or smile a lot, but I’m pretty sure he likes me. He gets the most adorable look of panic and annoyance on his face when he realizes I’m going to make him converse with me.
Ran – or King to my Queen – certainly has his moments of grumpy. He’s my co-leader, and so doesn’t like it when he can’t get his own way. Unfortunately for him, that’s a lot of the time with me. He’s mellowed out a lot recently though, apparently it’s because he likes me. He hardly ever yells any more. He does stare disapprovingly, raise his eyebrow, and growl a lot.
FAQ #5: Why blog about it?
I lie through my teeth a lot about my weird behavior/ occasional unexplained absences to most people that I know. It’s kind of exhausting keeping up the false front. Before I met the Wolf Pack there was no one to talk to about the stupid things. And that is why I started a blog.
I’ve kept the blog because since finding out about the other non-human craziness that goes on around me I need somewhere to record my thoughts, bounce ideas around, and plan for world domination.
***
*No, ‘Wolf’ is not my real last name because… Well, because that would be a kind of a stupid coincidence, and not exactly discrete, or smart to publish on the internet.
** And yes the picture at the top is me (I was sick, and grumpy at the time) but no the wolf picture at the bottom is not, for obvious reasons:
1. no opposable thumbs in that form,
2. no witnesses to take holiday snaps of me rampaging through the woods, and
3. where I’m from wolves aren’t exactly common place, so I keep a low profile. Getting deported/ shot/ put in a zoo by biosecurity officials would suck. A lot.
It does look a lot like me though. According the the internet it’s a grey wolf – I’ve got no idea if that’s a breed, or just a descriptor – or even if it’s labelled right… I should probably find that out right? It’s sad not knowing the exact breed of crazy you are.
You can contact me on email at aylawolf[at]gmail.com I almost always answer. And I’m almost never nasty about it. (Almost!)
